This Awful Beautiful Life

Well folks, it's been quiet some time since my last blog. It's now summer time and I am LOVING it. I got a cute little job up at the deli this summer and it's going really well! I also have had TONS of great memories so far with my friends, but what would summer be without a few bumps in the road! I have learned alot about myself in the last two months, and its shaped me into such a strong person thanks to a few people. For instance, I learned at graduation that maturity doesn't always come with age. I had grown women talking bad about me and pointing at me. But it made for a good laugh between mom and me so I didn't mind. Plus, I feel honored that they care enough to talk about me. They sure are passing that on to their little boy too.
I think alot of this bull crap is a test for me. I, for one, think I have handled it gracefully...kinda. Losing a few friends? No biggie. It didn't take long for me to learn that people usually just want to use each other to satisfy their needs. Maybe I shoulda learned that lesson earlier. I gave up on trying to be the good guy not to long ago. SO.. what do I get from it? Well, I got deleted from one facebook a good while ago and was completely blocked this week. Kind of odd since I already had no contact. Haha. Then had two little love birds delete me this week because of who my friends are. I kinda died laughing at that one I wont lie. This kind of thing used to bother me, but lately, it made me feel strong. I realized I'm genuinely happy for the first time in years, and I wouldnt trade it for the world. I no longer care what anyone thinks about me. I'm doing me. This summer has been and will continue to be amazing.

Gotta Let It Go

I'll admit it. I'm one of those people who will hang on to something FOREVER. Not like hoarding...that's just gross. I am talking about hurt, love, anger, and all that good stuff. I have got to learn to let stuff go. I carry around every emotion like they are prized possessions that someone wants to steal. It's about to wear me out. Sigh.

It's summer!! I am going to relax and not worry about all the nonsense going on around me. Instead of thinking about what my life has been up to this point, I'm going to have fun and let whatever may be well...be. It's time to let go of all the mistakes I've made. God knows I have been fretting over them, and there sure are MANY that I have made. I know I appear perfect to all you people, but I'm not. That was sarcasm for those of you who were about to text all of your friends to go read how self centered I am. Anywho, mistakes shape who we are. We learn from our mistakes so I'm no longer calling them that. I'm going to call them opportunistic decisions. That sounds better. I'm about to take all this negative and turn it positive. Funny how it only takes one person to teach you how to let go. 

I had a talk with someone yesterday who asked me if I ever looked at the things the kids around here do and feel stupid because I know I did them myself. It's true. In just a years time I have learned so much about myself and what I expect out of myself and others. I have already learned how to let go of so many things and people that are bad for me. As I get older its becoming easier to let go of the things that I can't change.

So I'm about to put on that bikini, hit the river, and throw back a drink. It's time to let the summer time help me let it all go. It's what I need right now.

Get Back. Get Back. You Don't Know Me Like That.

Now that song is in your head isn't it? Ha!

Do you ever wonder why people give their opinion when they know NOTHING about you? Me too. I know I do it sometimes, but it's my blog so I'm allowed to have double standards. But forreal, what's the deal? I mean I get so gosh darn tired of hearing rumors about myself. If I did half the stuff people say I do, I would be living a heck of a life. I wish I was that confident in myself to the crazy things I hear I have done.

People always have something to say. ALWAYS. Why are we always so quick to make assumptions about people when we ourselves have flaws? Have you ever noticed that usually the people who are putting you down are the ones who have the most to be insecure about? All the words were getting to me lately. I have been continually put down the past nine months, and I finally reached my breaking point. But, life works in mysterious ways doesn't it? Right before I hit rock bottom from one person's negativity, I had an epiphany. I realized that I wasn't all these things I was being called. The person who was giving their opinion of me knew NOTHING about me. Not the first thing. The anger and agression being thrown at me was a result of this persons own insecurities. They knew just what to say to manipulate my feelings, but once I realized that I was in control, it stopped. Which brings me to one of my favoirte quotes:

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

You are in control of your feelings. Don't let someones hurtful words get to you. Remember that when someone puts you down, it's because they have something wrong with them. Know who you are and love yourself for it.

Don't worry if someone calls you pathetic, a slut, or even tells you that you've got nothing going for you. As long as you love yourself for who you are and believe in your own abilities, the nay-sayers will go away. And maybe there will even be the added bonus of the nay-sayer living a lie. And for that, you can smile.

Wish I Had Known.

Gahlee Pete. I sure am tired these days. I'm getting old. And fat. And sick. I feel like im 18 going on 103. Whew. I don't know how people have time to rest these days. I feel so overwhelmed with a MILLION different things going on in my life. Most of my planning and thinking gets done in the shower. I always do think of the most intriguing things there. Today my thought was mainly focused on how I have a bundle of things to do and no time to do it. I wish I would have known to enjoy life a little more when I had the chance. So yes ladies and gents, that's the blog today.....things I wish I would have known before I started college. But since I know my mother will be reading this, I guess I should also say things I wish I would have LISTEN to people tell me before college. Here we go.....


1. High school is all about preparing for the future....WRONG. Gosh. In high school, I was always doing things to be one step ahead of the game. I wish I would have taken the time to enjoy the little things in high school. Take millions of pictures that are terrible and don't delete them. Take crappy classes and sleep through them. Start a food fight. High school is the only time you're going to be allowed to do the most idiodic things with NO consequences..(ish).


2. High school will NEVER prepare you enough. Not knocking ole Northeasy, but I can NOT express to you enough how much of a break it is. Yeah, Northeast has challenging classes...I've took some of them, but a university is different. You will never aquire the amount of knowledge in high school needed to breeze through college. I beg for those Northeast classes back..BEG. So stop the whining and be thankful if you have some classes there.


3. D is for Diploma...but it's also for don't expect to keep your scholarship. Ha. It's true. In highschool getting A's was easy. Don't expect that to translate into the college world. I'm hoping to pull a D in a class this semester, and if I do, you can bet your sweet butt I'm going to reward myself. I'm fighting for a D. FIGHTING.. DO YOU HEAR THAT??? Which reminds me of my next point...


4. Let's have real talk here. American education system= pure CRAP. So, rule of thumb, if they have trouble speaking English, you're not going to beat them. The Asians are smart. Period. Yeah I know im being sterotypical, but don't you think there HAS to be a reason that became a sterotype? They have their stuff together.


5. HONK IF YOU LOVE JESUS!!!! Hey. Not everyone loves Jesus. I know. I know. The south is the bible belt. Um, not everyone in college here (or there..or everywhere) is from the south. There are atheist and agnostics on campus. They are vocal. You're going to be introduced to all kinds of new beliefs and personalities. Use this to learn new things. Be open! Don't judge because they aren't like you. I've met some really awesome people who don't believe the same as me.


6. MONEY does not grow on trees....unless you're my neighbor to the north in which case you have a money tree on your balcony. It's SO easy to eat out when you're on your own.  It's fast and let's face it. You don't have time. DON'T DO IT! My money dissapeared thanks to fast food. I'm cooking my meals for about a third of the price or less. Learn to manage you're money. Yay for jobs.


7. Get a handle on the love handles. In high school, you're always active and burning calories. You have a metabolism that you can't keep up with. You can eat 5000 calories in doughnuts and feel awesome. In college, your not lazy; you're just not burning 3000 calories a day. Your metabolism is as fast as syrup in the freezer. You still want to eat those doughnuts, but instead of feeling great, you feel them piling up on your butt, thighs, and hips. That glaze you used to love is EVIL. Try to take little steps to keeping fit. I walk to class to stay in shape, and when I can, I go work out.


8. Mommy and Daddy aren't here to hold you're hand. Rules and morals seem to go out the window in college. You're going to do things that seem badass because you can. You'll make mistakes and it's okay. It's so easy to be a little crazy in a collge town because unlike Section, Alabama, not everyone knows your business. AND get this, THEY DON'T CARE what you do!!! Just don't lose yourself in the process.


9. Dishes mold, clothes sour, and shower curtains turn red ( that's staph btw). Sadly, it was never an act of magic, someone cleaned the house back home. Keeping your room clean is a way to stay healthy...go figure. I won't lie..the moldy dishes scare me more than the staph that appears in showers.


10. Life's what you make it. You can throw pitty parties or be happy. It's your choice. Life isn't going to show you the golden route, you have to find it! You'll be as happy or as sad, as sucessfull or as unworthy, and as loved or as lonely as you choose. Choose wisely.


Life after highschool is busy and hectic. You'll never achieve ever single goal you want to. Take the time to enjoy life while you still have a chance. Once that graduation hat soars through the air, the real world's coming at you full speed ahead.

To Be Honest....

So. On facebook I see these kids putting their status as "To be honest. Like and I'll write on your wall". Basically it means that if you like their status they are going to write on your wall and tell you how they feel about you. Well, I've decided I'm going to do my own to be honest on thing. This is kinda like the girls opinion of to be honest to the fellas.


To be honest:


You'll never understand us.
Girls think that you're idea of a perfect woman is unreachable.
Girls like fat filled foods.
Girls think girls that have no meat look gross.
Girls are just as shallow as you.
Girls lie and cheat just like you.
At some point, no matter how hot you are, we don't care about your high school accomplishments.
We are vein just like you.
Looks do matter. Be honest with yourself.
Size doesn't really impress us THAT much. Stop bragging.
Girls are too busy worrying if you're going to see a flaw in them to see your flaws.
Not all girls have sex and that's okay.
Not all girls are virgins, but that doesn't make them sluts.
Girls aren't there to satisfy your needs.
Kitchen jokes make you unattractive. Not to mention you look like a total DICK.
Girls talk about everything they do with their friends.
Girls know you tell your "boys" everything. We don't care.
Sometimes girls are only in it for the sex too.
Girls fart, burp, and poop. And we think it's just as funny as you do.
Girls are two faced. That's just how they function. We've accepted it.
You don't have to be prince charming, just a gentleman is all we ask.
Double standards work both ways.
We'd rather you like us in sweats than dolled up.
Always picking things to do REALLY annoys us.
We think the cheap creative dates are more fun.
Life isn't like the movies. We don't expect it to be.
We make you feel bad for doing the same things we do.
We aren't going to change.

OH....and to be honest..(if you're reading this)...I'm wearing your socks. Don't expect them back. :)

Soo many more to be honest situations that I just cant put on here but feel free to comment (you can anonomously) what ever you like!!

Create Your Happiness

Happiness comes to those who wait. What a load of crap. If you believe that, you're going to be waiting for the rest of your life. Eighteen years have come and gone in my life, and I have waited to for happiness to come to me. Well...we all know how that worked out. Oh wait, it didn't.


We as people rely on others to make us happy, but in the end, we get hurt. People are just that, people. They will ALWAYS let you down. That's life. Get over it. I did. I decided enough with the waiting. I was going to create my own happiness. Oddly enough, as soon as I stopped waiting, I realized happiness had been there all along. I got rid of all the people who were trying to make me unhappy, and replaced them with people who have always wanted me happy. It's amazing the difference one person can make in your life.


Happiness isn't about having expensive things, making straight A's, or even having the guy who is supposedly "all that" (chances are he sucks deep down anyways). Happiness is finding that killer dress for ten bucks, getting a D for diploma, and realizing that imperfections are what make us unique. The second you stop waiting for some huge sign to say "TODAY YOU'LL BE HAPPY" and start finding things that make you happy, you'll be alot better off. So stop waiting and start creating. Happiness is waiting on YOU.

"We tend to forget that happiness doesn't come as a result of getting something we don't have, but rather the recognizing and appreciating what we do."
-Frederick Keonig

How Heavy Are Your Lies?

Seems like an odd question doesn't it?

Over the past few weeks I've had ALOT going on and I've felt really bogged down. I've searched for the solution and after have a talk with someone whose opinion I value very much, it became clear to me. They said something that really struck home. This person told me that when you feel like there's to much going on, you have to step back and take a look at the situation and decide if you are making a mistake. Then, you act.

Well, admittedly, I've made alot of mistakes lately and have really let the consequences weigh me down. Recently, I've been lied to by people, lied to people, and been lying to myself. But I decided to put an end to it. It was the lies that were heavy on my heart. So, I told the truth to everyone. I put an end to the lies.

I feel like a weight is lifted off my shoulders. Sure, I had to deal with the results of my actions.  I lost the respect of people I cared about and who I thought cared about me, but I gained respect for myself. I was called names that I know to be false and once again bashed online (insert non-shocked face). I made myself look like a jerk, but I don't regret it. I now can honestly say that I don't have to hold back anymore. Telling the truth made me realize some people would rather live ignoring the lies than face the truth, and I don't need to be involved with those people. Also, in doing this I found that there are amazing people in my life that I have overlooked. People who despite what I have done are willing to stand beside me. People I'm very thankful for.

So now I ask you, "How heavy are your lies"? If you're feeling like life is weighing down on you, step back and evalute your situation. Maybe you're like me and have so many lies surrounding you that you are suffocating. Don't be afraid to tell the truth and to force others to do the same (though you cant guarantee they will). Have enough respect for yourself and know that when you let the truth come out, the good results will far surpass the bad. You'll find that although your lies are heavy, the truth can lift the weight.

Eat Better, Feel Better.

So my dear friend, who will be given the code name Tatlin Ghornberry, says I need to write a blog about something girls can relate to. Something that will help them in life. I thought, "Dear God, what does he want from me? I can't control my own life! I have so much going on most days I forget to eat!" That's when it hit me. Boys and girls both have that same problem. College is stressful. Period. You don't have time to cook a four course meal...you've got projects due, tests to take, and meetings galore because employers want "well rounded" students. Point is, there aren't enough hours in the day and when it comes down to it, we put eating healthy on the backburner right next to ex boyfriends. (Like that?)


So I got to thinking, just how unhealty am I eating? Let's just go back to last Thursday and see....[insert whimsical noise and clouds that separate to reveal me on last Thursday.


Thursday:
Breakfast: Skipped. Late for Physics.
Lunch: Papa John's personal pizza. PLUS garlic sauce. Yum.
Dinner: Tostino's pizza. Yeah Physics lab snuck up on me. Ate it like FOREVER after I cooked it.
Snack: Starbucks Caramel Frapp. Whoops.


Friday:
Breakfast: Nada.
Lunch: Two soft tacos from Chef's Table and a brownie.
Dinner: Margarita's so you KNOW i had pollo fundido.


Saturday:
Breakfast: I woke up at 12.
Lunch: Half of a ham biscuit...and it was SALTY. Yuck.
Dinner: Fish. Green beans. Rolls. It was homecooked, that's all you need to know. OH and birthday cake.


Sunday:
Breakfast: Bacon, egg, and cheese on an english muffin. Thanks DAD.
Lunch: Ruby Tuesday's steak and salad and a baked potatoe.
Dinner: Chips and a candy bar. YEAHHHH...


Monday:
Breakfast: I got up at 12 again.
Lunch: Cheese n crackers and a Tostino's pizza at 3. FRUITTT woohooo.
Dinner: Jimmy John's sandwich and chips at like 5:30. I'll say half was ate.


Tuesday:
Breakfast: NOPE.
Lunch: Papa John's again. Chick-fil-a line was LONGGG.
Dinner: Peanut M & M's and a tangelo.


Today:
Breakfast: Nope.
Lunch: Fried chicken, roll, and mac n cheese from AFC.
Dinner: I don't even know yet. I have meetings and a test so it may be another crappy meal.




Wow. So through those 7 days you may have thought that wasn't to terrible..
This has been a relatively healthy week. Lately, I've been eating so out of wack that I wake up dizzy or feel absolutely terrible walking to and from class. I'm exhausted and ill. Not to mention I'm addicted to cokes now.


So, solutions?
First, I HAVE got to start having something for breakfast. FYI: Studies show that women who eat breakfast actually lose weight better than those who don't. And by breakfast I don't mean a doughtnut..even if the bags are buy one get one free right now at Winn Dixie. Smh,
Secondly, cut that grease. Student Center food is soooo good, but eating that greasy pizza twice in one week (heck, even once) makes my tummy very unhappy.
Next, Home cooked meals for dinner. Honestly, my whole family has gotten better with that.. eating out all the time hurts the wallet. Which brings up another case: Poor College Kid? Here's why. Eating Out vs. Dining In. Eating at home is WAY cheaper. Especially if your family cans foods.
Also, Setting a time interval to eat meal is a good idea. College students aren't gaining 15 pounds because we are less active..we are gaining 15 pounds because we are stressed and eating at all random hours of the day. We eat when we can, not when we should.
Finally, vitamins. I have started to take vitamins to help make up for all the nutrients I don't get anymore theses days. Good choice.

Side note, working out again is definately on my list. As hard as it is to fit a workout into my schedule, I'm going to start back. Working out also makes you feel better. You get in shape and relieve stress.

So, I'm going to start eating better. Some how, some way. I encourage all of you to do the same.

Campus Attire: Style or Efficient?

At noon every week day there are two things that are sure to happen, the chimes at Samford Hall will play the fight song and the concourse at Auburn will be JAM PACKED with students going from place to place. I admit, I like to people watch. People are weird and I need a good laugh. So, sometimes when a class gets canceled or even when I myself am walking the concourse, I like to look at what people are wearing.

I felt like that in high school, it was impressive if you dressed up. In fact, many girls and guys dressed up EVERY day. In college, this is certainly not the case. If someone's dressed up, you can assume they had to give a presentation or they are just off their rocker! There are certain staples you see in college towns and since I people watch on the concourse, I've decided to break down my opinion on these. So, is it just for style or are these items actually efficient? Don't worry Auburn locals, I'm not going all freshman girl Plainsman reporter on you. We all know what happened to her. Whew.

1. The Nike shorts:
This is the most popular item I've seen yet. I myself wear these. So style or efficient? I'll give this one the efficient vote. Being a girl of "thick" thighs, I have problems with shorts clinging to the thighs and butt. These shorts are super comfy and dont cling...so no riding up the crotch and crack. (Yeah, I said it.) I can wear them all day and walk all over campus and not feel uncomfortable. Say no to camel toe!

2. The XXXXXXXX(your not that big now come on)XXXXXL T-shirt:
I'm on the fence about this little fashion statement. On the one hand, Auburn is GOD AWFUL hot alot of the time and when you have on a tight shirt, you're gonna sweat 'til the thing is soaked. Not cool. But on the other hand, when girls are size XS and are wearing a triple XL its a bit sad. At some point the extra fabric your carrying around is gonna make you sweat just as bad. Keeping it one or two sizes bigger and I give it efficient for the breeze feel but after that, you're just trying to be stylish.

3. Leggings as pants:
This one is just STYLE. One that needs to dissapear and fast. If you are over a size 2, leggings do NOT work as pants on you girl. And if you are any size, transparent leggings are NOT pants. Period. Go back inside and change. NOW. Cover that booty!

4. Croakies:
Yeah that little string that hooks to your sunglasses. Frat staple? Oh yes. But efficient? Definately. They catch flack for wearing sunglasses everyday, even when it's clouded. But, anyone who has lived in Auburn knows the weather machine is messed up here and it can be sunny while it rains. Sunglasses needed. Croakie it up.

5. Chaco's:
Hiking sandals on a college campus? Hmmmmm. Although I refuse to own a pair, I'm giving these a good review. Chaco's are supposed to be VERY comfortable and walking all day in flip flops is like begging for a blister. Yuck. Unless your just a tennis shoe fanatic, Chaco's are reasonable. I say efficient! Besides, walking to and from classes is a hike!

6. Hats:
College kids wear hats like there going out of style! Why though? Ha. Well, I don't know about you, but I like to sleep. If you are in a hurry to get to class, throw on a hat so people aren't frightened by that hair and you're good to go!!! Definately efficient!

So ladies and gentlemen, most college styles have a pretty decent reason behind them. While some people could cut back in a few ways, I'm not mad at the outfits I see on campus. So put on your Nike shorts, Large T-shirt, hat, and glasses and strut you stuff. That's all for my people watching on the concourse.

Facebook Drama: I'm Sorry. Are We Three?

I have alot on my mind recently and decided instead of blabling about it to my WONDERFUL friends I would just blog about it. I'm sure my fingers are typing just as fast as I would be saying this all anyway. So, I've been thinking the past couple of days and I'm going to say something we all know but would like to deny:
Facebook has made our generation take a step back in maturity.
Let's be forreal. It's getting out of control. Having a sandwich? Put it on facebook. Bad day? Make your status a sad song. Gotta problem with someone? You know that's going on your status. What the hell people? KEEP IT OFF FACEBOOK.
Are we so insecure with ourselves these days that we can't keep our personal feelings towards people off facebook? I can't stand to see GROWN women and men put stuff on facebook such as, "You better stay away from my man" or "OMG. She cheated on me". Are you serious right now? What ever happened to confronting the person you have a problem with and trying to figure out a reasonable explanation of what has happened? Chances are, your man was coming on to someone and lied to you about it so the people who know the truth are now making fun of you for being so clueless and gullible or someone started a rumor that she cheated on you and now you just made someone innocent look like a bad person. Point is: Whether you know the whole story or not, youre making yourself look like a jackass by calling people out on facebook. In addition to looking like a jerk, you make yourself appear as if you are three years old. Facebook has made us all think that we are untouchable and can say whatever you want. I know I myself have been a victim and an offender of this way of thinking and it must stop. Let's grow up people. The recent events of me being the center of someone's facebook status made me realize a few things. When you're the victim, you can choose to retaliate with a stupid status and make yourself look just as immature or you can let it go and laugh it off. I choose to laugh it off because in the end, I know what the truth is and I'm not going to be the one who ends up unhappy. So join me people and let's get back to the facebook where people tell us they're eating ham and cheese or are feeling a little blue. After all, none of us are three anymore are we?